As you can imagine, my life is so totally different now and each day forces me to face a new and devastating dimension of my loss . . . creating a whole new context for my life. It also teaches me the incredible power of choices . . . to run from the loss or to face it as best I can. I choose to grow in and learn as much as I can from my loss . . . to grow in character and learn wisdom. A moment-by-moment choice, as it is so much easier to dodge pain rather than confront it! With all that said . . . the grief and pain is still there. . . my days feel long and the nights even longer, but I find God is still as faithful and trustworthy as He has ever been and the Holy Spirit is an incredible comforter!!

This Thanksgiving I am trying to focus on the wonderful forty Thanksgivings Sam and I shared and the incredible twenty-five Thanksgivings we shared with Christen. I am so thankful for Kevin, as we celebrate together this year all that we have to be thankful for. Kevin has been remarkable as my constant encourager, “dinner partner’ and awesome, attentive son . . . I am SO thankful for him and the man that he is . . . so much like his Daddy!!

I have a grateful and thankful heart for a God who feels and understands our grief . . .a God who hears & answers prayer . . . and provides incredible friends like you!

Thank you for walking with me in this journey!

Blessings to you this Thanksgiving season.

In His Love,

Ann

“As for God, His way is perfect . . . He is a shield to all those who take refuge and put their trust in Him” Psm 18:30

Ann & Macy & my ‘new project’ Truffles!!

God is good . . . really, really good!! It seems almost impossible to believe that it has been over a week since Sam went home to be with Jesus & Christen. Thank you for reaching out to me over these past eleven days . . . it has been wonderful to experience this love & compassion within the Body of Christ!

There are so many things I want to share with you about Sam’s homegoing and God’s faithfulness . . . I just may have to write that book one of these days!

Through Sam’s cancer journey, we had so many praise reports, prayer requests and testimonies of our precious, TRUSTWORTHY Father. The past weeks & months, as I watched Sam struggle with a lot of pain in his back, right arm & legs, due to the cancer in the bones, I had talked to God and asked Him that when He was taking Sam Home, to please not allow him to suffer and to please have someone with me so that I would not be alone at that time, as I was with Christen. (Of course, since Sam’s home going, I now believe that God allowed that to prepare me for this! His ways are SO MUCH higher than ours.)

Three WEEKS prior to Sam’s homegoing date, August 25^th, our dear friends, Dr. Billy Boring, (the doctor that diagnosed Sam’s cancer in that visit to Dallas in April ‘06), and his wife, Michelle purchased plane tickets to come and spend the weekend of August 23^rd through the 26^th with us. Sam had plans for us the entire weekend . . . he was so excited at the thought of the four of us getting together for just ‘fun’ rather than medical reasons. (We had spent weeks in Dallas with them for medical treatments, and this would be ‘just for fun’!)

Within 10 minutes after arriving home from picking Billy & Michelle at the airport, Sam began having respiratory failure!! There are many things that transpired over that day & the next . . . . MANY actual miracles, and one day I will write about them all . . . but right now, I want to give you a tiny glimpse of what a TRUSTWORTHY God we ALL serve!!

Friday evening, we had a GREAT TIME! We sat around the supper table for almost three hours talking and sharing stories & testimonies. Sam, although tired, was joking, talking and ate more than any of us had seen in a long time! (And, his appetite was great before!).

Around 1 AM I was awakened by Sam moaning in pain, and he said the pain in his leg was ‘something new’ and worse than he had experienced before. He wanted me to get Billy, which I did. Kevin arrived at the house at 1:30 AM, and within 10 minutes, Sam began struggling to breathe.

We had the most incredible two-hours-and-fifteen minutes with Sam until he opened his eyes in the presence of Jesus! Kevin and I were able to communicate with Sam until his last breath. Both of us had the privilege of giving him verbal blessings, thanking him for all that he had done for us, taught us and lived before us. Kevin had special time with his Daddy, and communicated things to him that will forever be a treasure in my heart.

Although Sam and I had already ‘left nothing unsaid’ between us, it was a joy & privilege for me, as his wife of 39 years, to rehearse so many things with him & thank him and then, release him to Jesus. I quietly sang some of his favorite hymns to him, and Kevin and I would talk to him. Although he couldn’t talk well, due to the lack of oxygen, he could say ‘yep’ and ‘nope’, and always responded to Billy’s questions, as he was monitoring his homegoing and guiding Kevin & I the entire time.

Just before he went to Glory, I asked him for a kiss & he ‘puckered up’ like you wouldn’t believe! I got a KISS . . . . and another!!! He would look at us right in the eyes when we talked to him . . . he was definitely ‘with us’ until the end. He looked at me & in a whispered voice said: “I love you” . . . just a few more breaths & he was in the presence of His Lord!!!!

Not only was Kevin there with me . . . but, the DOCTOR WAS IN THE HOUSE!!!! Sam’s brother, Bret & his wife also arrived for the last few minutes. Sam did not suffer long and throughout it all, Billy constantly asked him if he was in pain & he repeated would answer: ‘nope’!!

God’s presence has been so overwhelming in our house . . . we have had a lot of tears . . . however . . . I almost think there has been more ‘laughter’ and rejoicing. As various ones recall their times with Sam, you cannot help but smile. Sam continues to put a smile on everyone’s face . . . just at the mention of his name!! More importantly than that, are the testimonies and stories that continue of how God used Sam in their lives to bring them closer to God . . . what a legacy!

I have sensed a peace that cannot be described. I have been overwhelmed by God’s Grace & Mercy. Although the hole that Sam has left in my life and my heart cannot begin to be described, I know that God NEVER makes any mistakes & HIS Grace is sufficient as I walk through these next weeks & months.

I appreciate your prayers for Kevin and I and we try to adjust to life without Sam’s daily presence and counsel . . . . it isn’t easy. God has placed Godly people around us who are helping us find our way . . . Sam really knew how to pick champions to surround himself with, and now we are reaping the rewards of those friendships!

Thank you for standing with us over these past sixteen months! Your prayers were felt and were always an encouragement to us, just knowing you were standing with us. God used you in our lives more than you can know.

I will continue posting as we walk this ‘new path’. I am finding God at every turn & hopefully, will be able to share some of those experiences with you soon. I wanted to get this out to you now, as so many have asked about Sam’s last moments. It was an incredible experience for us, and another testimony of how Trustworthy our God really is . . . the theme of our lives these past few years!!!

Love,

Ann

We appreciate your prayers for Ann & Kevin at this time. Ann will be posting an update as soon as she can.

Arrangements are as follows:

A Celebration of Sam’s life will be held on TUESDAY,

August 28^th at 3:00 PM at CENTRAL CHURCH

5301 Sardis Road Charlotte, NC 28270

(704) 364-5003

In lieu of flowers, you can make a tax-deductible contribution at www.samconway.org & go to ‘make a donation’, or you can send a check made out to: Mission Specialities, Inc., with “Conway Cancer Fund” in the memo line to: Mission Specialities, Inc. PO Box 671897 Marietta, GA 30006-0032.

Thank you for your prayer support.

Dear friends,

I have put off writing this update, as it is not an easy one for me to write. Sam’s latest scan results have shown significant growth and spreading of his cancer. The cancer has metastases to the brain, liver, both hips, right shoulder, and spine.

Because of the location of the four brain tumors, he is currently undergoing 14 treatments of whole-brain radiation, which will continue for the next two weeks. Sam also has a metastasis tumor in the upper-spinal area which is pressing on a nerve and has caused his left eye to shut completely.

As we walk through these next two weeks of radiation treatment, we covet your prayers, as we are asking God for His Grace & that any side effects would be eliminated.

Once again, Sam has astounded all the doctors involved. His physical just two weeks ago had the Oncologist shaking his head as he proclaimed Sam to be in ‘excellent health’, (with the exception of the cancer!). Although he has to walk with a cane and has lost a considerable amount of weight, his energy level is good and he is not having any serious pain.

Sam has been able to attend all of Kevin’s races. The last race was in New Hampshire. Sam left on that Saturday morning at 3 AM and flew on the Gibb’s Racing corporate plane with the crew. He was there for Kevin’s practice, qualifying and the entire race and flew back home, arriving around midnight. The next morning, he was up and ready to leave for church at the crack of dawn!! He still amazes me and those around him.

Sam has had a couple of opportunities to speak and share what God has been teaching him through this journey, and has been a tremendous blessing to all. He wanted me to share a portion of scripture with you that he feels God has given him for this time. It is taken from Philippians 3:10 from the Amplified Bible:

“ For my determined purpose is that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power out flowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, in hope . .”

Thank you for continuing to stand with us during this time. We do not understand what all God is doing with us right now, but we want to be faithful to all that He has called us and entrusted to us!!!

We continue to walk in faith . . . believing . . . . as we KNOW that HE IS ABLE!!!

In HIS love & care,

Sam & Ann

I am sorry it has been so long since you have heard from us!! I have wanted to sit down and write you so many times over the past few weeks, but for one reason or another, it just didn’t happen!

As you know, we packed up our household in Oak Brook, IL and moved back to Cornelius, NC a few weeks ago. Just two days before we left, as Sam was packing the garage, he noticed a pain in his back that shot down his left leg. He felt like all the packing had aggravated a disc, which was causing the pain. By the time we drove to NC and began unpacking on this end, it became apparent it was more than we had previously thought. The pain became very intense and walking became an enormous effort for Sam.

An MRI revealed that the pain was a result of one of the metastasis tumors on his spine pressing on a nerve. The only alternative was to receive 14 radiation treatments to try to shrink the tumor, thus relieving the pressure on the nerve. He just completed his treatments this past Friday, and they are hoping to see improvement over the next two weeks. He is still experiencing a lot of pain in his leg and is walking short distances v-e-r-y slowly (and carefully) with a cane. Other than the pain in his lower back and leg, he feels good and does not have any of the ‘typical’ lung cancer symptoms at all! (A bone scan taken last week does not show any new growth. . . a huge praise.)

Once again, this cancer journey has taken a ‘different turn’ for us. We found ourselves sitting in our house with wall-to-wall boxes and Sam in horrific pain, unable to help at any level with any of the unpacking! Our days have been filled with my trying to get boxes unpacked and bring some sort of ‘normal home life’ set up, DAILY trips for the radiation treatments, trying to make meals that someone who is nauseated and has no appetite would find appealing, and just the overall demands of getting re-established in a new location. It has been overwhelming, stressful, and even depressing at times!! J We have been stretched in every direction . . .and yet . . . we still find ‘His mercies are new every morning’!!

Sam was so excited about working in his brother’s business; however, due to the pain and treatments, he has not been able to work. (Another ‘faith-stretcher’!!). We KNOW that we are exactly where God wants us right now, and obviously, not a day early!! It has been a blessing for us to see Kevin almost everyday.

We truly appreciate your prayers for us . . . we need them! We are walking by faith & trusting God . . . wanting to learn all that He has to teach us on this journey. Thank you for standing in the gap for us . . . some days are long and hard . . . just knowing that you are walking along side of us continues to be such an encouragement and means more than you’ll ever know!!!

Thank you again for taking this journey with us and trusting with us!

In His love,
Ann

New home number: 704 892-8779
Sam’s cell number: 630 364-6370 (please feel free to call & encourage him!)

It is truly hard to believe that my first email to you was almost one year ago!   This Thursday will be the ‘one year mark’ of the day that Sam’s lung cancer was ‘discovered’ by our dear friend, Dr. Billy Boring.
 

We simply do not know how to express the gratefulness in our hearts for you standing with us over these past twelve months!!!!   Your cards, emails, calls and expressions of love and concern to us have been overwhelming.   To experience the Body of Christ in this way has been a humbling and learning experience for us.   Thank you so much for reaching out to us . . . many times it was your expression of loving concern that kept us ‘pressing on’!!   Many days you gave us hope and confidence when ours was weak . . . just an encouraging call or word, or by letting us know that you were still praying for us!!   What a blessing!! Thank you so very much for your prayers for us . . . God has answered in so many ways.
 

So much has happened since I last wrote you . . . it seems impossible that four weeks have already passed since our last update!!  As we earnestly sought the Lord for direction, (and continue to do so), several things became very clear in God’s direction for our lives right now.   The first is that we are moving back to Charlotte, NC, to be near our son, Kevin.  It has been incredible, as we initially stepped out in faith . . . and then, we have watched in amazement as HE has truly ordered our every step and given us confirmation over and over with this decision! 
 

We found a condominium just one mile from Kevin, and one-half mile from where we used to live in the Lake Norman area, (north of Charlotte).   We will be moving in on Monday, April 9^th!!
 

We have enjoyed living in the Chicago area and working with the Institute in Basic Life Principles these past two-and-one-half years.   There have been so many blessings, ministry opportunities, relationships, and friendships that will be with us for the rest of our lives!!   We are thankful for all that God allowed us to be a part of while serving here . . . and now we are looking forward to what God has for us in Charlotte!
 

Sam is feeling really good these days, for which we are so thankful, in spite of all the reports!   For us, the hardest part of dealing with cancer is deciding between all the treatment options.    The only thing that most can offer right now is extensive radiation and chemotherapy.   With the location of Sam’s tumor, we have been advised that the radiation would most likely destroy his esophagus, thus requiring a feeding tube, oxygen and impaired speech “until he is well enough to have surgery to repair it all later”.    Sam does not see this as an option right now.    We have done extensive research and consulted with many physicians who are finding alternative routes outside of the traditional chemotherapy.   He is currently taking many ‘natural products’, along with his restrictive diet, under the supervision of two Godly physicians, for whom we are so grateful.   
 

We need your continued prayers.  Sam wants to use this ‘natural treatment’ plan for 90 days and then he will have another set of scans.   We believe that this is the direction God has given us for right now.   We did find out that Sam has already exceeded ALL of the doctor’s expectations for him, and several told us that they see him as a “HUGE” lung cancer success story already!!   (While we’re not sure how to take that, we just know that God is in control!).
 

We are truly learning to live ‘one-step-at-a-time’, and God continues to amaze us at every turn.    I think we could write a book on how God has met our needs in every way over these past twelve months.   We are more excited than ever to see what God has in store for us . . . and feel so blessed to have you walking with us on this journey.   We know it has been your prayers that have sustained us . . . and we continue to count on them!!    
 

Thank you!!!   Thank you!!!   Thank you!!!   
 

Blessings to you for your faithfulness to us!!
 

In HIS love,
Sam & Ann
 

Our new home address is:   18906 Cloverstone Circle        Cornelius, NC  28031   
We will notify you of our new phone number soon, until then, Sam’s cell:  630  364-6370
 

We have returned from our Dallas/Houston trip with heavy hearts.  The scans have shown that there are three small metastases on Sam’s spine.   The tumor in his lung has had a slight increase in size and there are two lymph nodes by the tumor that are showing cancer activity now.  
 

Just writing these words to you brings a flood of emotions!!   We know and understand that God is in complete control.   I could write pages of how we are seeing God at every turn, and how He is actually using this in so many ways . . . however . . . this is not an easy journey.
 

We are now faced with so many new decisions.   We want to hear from God more than anything and follow His plan for us.    Right now, we have a tiny ‘window’ of time before we have to make any decisions, as there are many blood tests that will not be back for almost two weeks.   After they have the results from them, they will try to lay out a protocol for our next steps.   In the meantime, we are looking into other treatments available, but most of all, we are seeking God’s direction for us.   It is so easy to be swept into the ‘normal procedures’ of cancer treatments, and we want to be sure of God’s direction for us right now.
 

Once again, we thank you for standing with us these months!!   We have FELT your prayers . . . I don’t know where we would be today without them.   Will you please pray for us as we are researching, contacting various doctors, calling, and all that goes along with this?   We need God’s wisdom and discernment as we are faced with so many decisions into the ‘unknown’.    I love the statement that Corrie Ten Boom said:   “Do not be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God’.   
 

We ARE trusting!!   Thank you for your friendship and your prayers.  
 

We appreciate and love you.
 

Sam & Ann

I know it has been a while since you have heard from us . . . I was trying to let you-all get ‘settled in’ to this New Year and catch up on all the other e-mails you probably deal with on a daily basis!!!
 

Sam is doing quite well and we are praising God for his continued health.   He looks great, is still working every day, and has a good energy level.    He is still taking the treatments from the Burzynski Clinic of “medications” every-two-hours during the day, along with two other pharmaceutical drugs, various supplements, and continues to follow the ‘cancer diet’.   
 

God has truly heard your prayers and we are so grateful to you for remembering us!   Please continue to keep us in your prayers!!!    We will be flying to Dallas for new scans on February 20^th, and then on to Houston to meet with the doctors at the Burzynski Clinic.    We continue to trust God for an encouraging report with these new scans!!!    I usually do quite well until the ‘day of’ . . . then . . . the ‘trusting God’ part is just a bit harder!!    We KNOW He is faithful & trustworthy . . . . He has been so good to us on this cancer journey . . . yet . . . the ‘wife & mother’ stuff is still there and some days are just not all that easy!!    Knowing you are praying for us truly does give encouragement, comfort, peace and hope!!
 

We were able to go to Charlotte last week so that Sam could attend the NASCAR Media Tour and be there for Kevin’s big announcement, unveiling of his car, etc. etc.   Sam was one ‘proud Papa’ and I think this was the best medicine yet!!!  
 (If you are interested, here are a couple of articles)  www.catchfence.com/html/2007/mt020207.html       www.joegibbsracing.com/season_2007/news_busch/01_january/070124_zline.php 

  
Thank each one of you that helped make Sam’s birthday so special!!  He received over 100 cards, letters and emails!    What an encouragement they have been to Sam!   He sat and read the cards and letters over and over with tears streaming.   (He still picks up the “birthday book’ quite often & rereads them.)  He says it has been the most encouraging thing to ever be given to him.   Thank you so much!!
 

We are praying for each of you, and are thankful that you are in our lives!   We will send out an update on the scans when we return from TX.    We covet and appreciate your prayers for that trip.
 

Love in Jesus,
Ann